A Quick & Easy Model for One-to-One Discipleship

There has been lots of ink spilled and keys pounded on how to engage in one-to-one discipleship. By that, I mean two Christians meeting together for the purpose of helping one another follow Jesus. There is the weekly coffee shop meeting, Bibles open, studying through books of the Bible, or simply reading out loud, sans prep, and discussing the meaning and some applications. There are hundreds of great books to read and discuss. When things warm up, I like to go for walks with people I’m discipling. It’s hard to beat Boston Public Garden as a setting for good discussion on how things are going spiritually and otherwise. These are some examples of ways to do one-to-one discipleship, and I would encourage you to put them into practice. But discipling others isn’t cookie-cutter. There isn’t one way to do it right—so long as you are intentional in engaging spiritually, you’re making progress.

I want to share one particular method that has blessed my ministry throughout the years. It works whether you have an afternoon or half an hour. You can do it sitting or walking, in a church lobby, at a restaurant, or on the sidewalk. I like to say, “Tell me something bitter, something sweet, and something God is teaching you.” I have found that asking these three questions—asking for a hard thing, an encrouraging thing, and something that requires us to consider God’s work in our lives has the potential, rather quickly, to get right to the good stuff.

It also happens to align with what Paul commanded in Romans 12:15:  “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Asking for something bitter starts a conversation where wisdom and a fresh perspective can be shared. It also can serve as a means of grace whereby the one who hears can pray for the one who shared in a specific way. We often underestimate the power of intercessory prayer, when we lift one another up before the God who can change everything, if he desires. The second point, asking for something sweet, is an occasion to give thanks to God. Granted, if we are low, it can be challenging to hear the great news that our brother or sister shares. But with the proper perspective, it can give us joy, because the same God who has granted our neighbor a good gift, is able to do the same for us. Lastly, on that third bit, about what God is teaching you—that helps us to remember that God is near and that he’s about the business of making us more like Jesus. He who saved us is daily sanctifying us by the power of the Holy Spirit. In days when our faith seems less like a flowing river, more like a stagnant pond, we need to hear that God is doing a work! And so, I challenge you to try this with a fellow member the next time you meet up. I can guarantee that that the time will be well-spent!