How to Take a Compliment in the Ministry
“Great sermon, pastor!”
Possible answers:
“It was pretty solid, wasn’t it?”
“You know, I actually struggled on that last point. What did you think of it?”
“Oh, it wasn’t me. I didn’t do anything. It was God.”
[Silence] Preacher looks at the floor…
Here are some of the awkward answers at the doors of churches after a sermon. But it might as well be the door of your house after small group, or the choir room after singing. Or you name it when we do things for the Lord.
Why do we find it hard to receive encouragement after serving Christ? Sometimes we may seem to take the glory for ourselves. We’re prone to getting puffed up when a compliment hits. Or maybe we slam the door shut on any reference to our own gifting by saying, “It wasn’t me! Give God praise!” That can come off as trite and bit condescending, as though the encourager totally missed it. How dare they actually compliment the lowly servant! This approach completely dismisses the ways in which the encourager is appreciating God’s grace at work in you. Perhaps the easiest way to respond is not to respond much at all—we just smile or look down. But I think we can do better. I think there’s a way for us to grow in the discipline of showing honor to God’s servants and honoring him at the same time - and I think it strikes the balance of Scripture.
The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 12:10 hands down a foundational principle to God’s people: "So, whether you are eating or drinking, or whatever you are doing, do it all to the glory of God.” As servants of King Jesus, it’s not about us—it’s all about Him. In fact, he’s the one who supplies the grace and distributes gifts. Underneath your ability is his grace. You can’t preach a sermon that has a shred of spiritual effect without God, the Holy Spirit, working in the hearts of men. And so, whenever someone encourages us, we ought to give him glory. I think we know that quite well!
But where we stumble is when someone specifically compliments us. Most of us want to deflect that—and yet, I don’t think that that’s quite right. Romans 12:10 reads: “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” When a fellow believer seeks to obey Romans 12:10 and show you honor by letting you know how you blessed them, how can we then reject such a kindness? Furthermore, would it be biblical to deny that God gifts his children to edify his body? It’s like a person who acts too humble to receive a present. They say, “I couldn’t take that.” They refuse to receive the kindness of others. I admit, this has been a hard lesson for me to learn—one common example is that I used to refuse to let anyone pay for my lunch or coffee when they offered. I wanted to take care of it myself. But that’s not humility—it’s pride. And it’s clogging up the works of Romans 12:10. We should receive the kindness of others, including their compliments in ministry.
So what I’m saying is that it’s possible for us to get better at this. And what I think it might look like, though I’ve admittedly been bad at this, is to put these two things together in our response to compliments in ministry. We should say “thank you” and we should give glory to God. It’s as easy as that. “Thank you, that’s very kind. Praise the Lord.” Maybe it’s that simple. Because it’s truly humble to acknowledge God’s work in your life which enables you to serve. It also allows your spiritual sibling to fulfill Romans 12:10 and a number of other texts that call us to encourage one another. And of course, it give the ultimate credit where credit is due.
I’m probably going to fumble this at the doors of Converse Hall, but at least I’ve thought this through out loud with you—and there is hope for us!
